My doubts could not stay silent,
And neither could I.
I could see the end coming,
And made a feeble attempt to hide;
Now in your mind,
It is I, that you despise.
The blame is not all mine,
As our actions were seen by four eyes.
We clung to each other and tried to tread lightly,
But we hung on too tightly.
Alas, now that we’re awake:
You are you,
And I am me.
Tag: Self Reflection
07/05/2021 – Orion
I closed the gate,
And looked to the night sky.
That’s when I realized,
I’ve stopped looking for Orion.
Those stars will go on their journey,
And I’ll go on mine.
Maybe one day I’ll go searching again,
And I wonder what I’ll find.
14/02/2021 – Balloon
You know it is coming soon, the moment the wind will sing a different tune.
Finally the flowers will bloom, but it will not be for you;
You will close your eyes and act as if you are immune.
You will go into a rotten coccoon,
Become a balloon
And be forgotten before noon.
06/01/2021 – Mountain
A falling star through the midnight sky.
You came so far, and brightened up my life.
I stood here, on this mountain, when I saw you.
I tried to catch you, but realized you are a meteorite.
I failed to escape, and it was too late.
The impact shattered the ground beneath my feet,
And I found myself falling.
I lost my breath, my consciousness tried to hang on…
All these memories so bright, I wanted to close my eyes.
What was it all for, this mountain climb?
When I just have to keep climbing till the end of time…
Who says there won’t just be another meteorite?
A fallen star I may stare at in wonder,
Only for it to crush me.
Alas, now I have reached the ground;
And it is time to continue my eternal climb
16/03/2020 – Horizon
Searching for meaning,
Searching the light.
Wandering the wastelands,
No sign of life.
Your legs tire so,
Your chest barely rises.
Is there still hope,
On that far away horizon?
09/10/2019 – Strings
Loneliness and lethargy,
Keeping me company on this chapter.
I longingly await the light,
Alas,
Rather in life than in death.
When the clouds may finally break open,
And release all this anguish.
Oh, when may I see this day?
An endless number of strings pull on my heart,
Threatening to tear apart the stitches, placed so many times.
Frail arms clutch tightly around my chest,
In a painfully hopeless attempt at composure.
Holding on,
Barely.
Strings of a full spectrum of colour,
Ironically pulling me further into darkness.
Memories of days when the sun’s warmth still registered,
Of when there was a satisfaction to life.
Oh Lord in the heavens above,
Is this all there is?
As if life is a faulty rollercoaster that knows only how to travel down.
My pitifully weak mind is not enough,
Torn apart and put back together so many times over now.
I beg for something,
For someone,
To give me life.
I speak these words but there is a painful awareness,
That I should reach out,
Independently achieve greatness.
Doing so would sacrifice this containment of my heart,
Allowing it to get ripped out of my chest.
Maybe this time,
The stitches won’t be necessary.
23/06/19 – Heart
If home is where the heart is,
I’ve lost my heart not so long ago.
I’m asked,
Does it feel like home yet?
And I wonder,
Can’t they see this bloody hole in my chest?
It hasn’t healed over,
There’s been no stitches,
Not even a disinfectant.
I can see the infection,
Gnawing away at raw flesh.
Some days there is restoration,
Some nights there is none.
No comfort,
Rest,
When all that keeps me awake is a deep longing.
Alas,
It’s a reason to live.
To be whole,
Grow a new heart.
JD Poetry 