Loneliness and lethargy,

Keeping me company on this chapter.

I longingly await the light,

Alas,

Rather in life than in death.

When the clouds may finally break open,

And release all this anguish.

Oh, when may I see this day?

An endless number of strings pull on my heart,

Threatening to tear apart the stitches, placed so many times.

Frail arms clutch tightly around my chest,

In a painfully hopeless attempt at composure.

Holding on,

Barely.

Strings of a full spectrum of colour,

Ironically pulling me further into darkness.

Memories of days when the sun’s warmth still registered,

Of when there was a satisfaction to life.

Oh Lord in the heavens above,

Is this all there is?

As if life is a faulty rollercoaster that knows only how to travel down.

My pitifully weak mind is not enough,

Torn apart and put back together so many times over now.

I beg for something,

For someone,

To give me life.

I speak these words but there is a painful awareness,

That I should reach out,

Independently achieve greatness.

Doing so would sacrifice this containment of my heart,

Allowing it to get ripped out of my chest.

Maybe this time,

The stitches won’t be necessary.